ABC Story

      Apparently, today was different from normal, although it certainly felt that way. Bed sheets held me back from within their warm, loving embrace – until the repercussions of missing work one more day hit me. Carelessly throwing the sheets away, I grudgingly got up and walked towards the washroom.

     Depressing was a good way to describe the day; grey overcast skies only perpetuated my misery. 

Exiting my home, I huddled inside my jacket tighter to combat the cold. Frequently grinding my teeth, I trudged towards the bus stop until the thought of calling in sick hit me. Grateful for this one opportunity, I dial the phone. “Hey boss, yes it’s me, unfortunately I’m sick because of something I ate probably, it’s not sitting well for me, I’ll keep you posted.” Ill was my favorite excuse – plausible, but also vague enough to prevent further questioning.

     Jauntier now that there was no prospect of work looming over me, I decided to stroll through the nearby park. Kites flew overhead, perfect for the windy day, as families made memories with each other. Light on my feet, I made my way along the path when a breeze caught my jacket. My mind suddenly did a double take, and sunk into horrific revelation when I realized my jacket was, in fact, the only thing I had on. Naked and bewildered, I hustled myself into a nearby bush and tried to gather my thoughts.

     “Obviously this has to be a dream,” I thought as I opened my jacket and peeked down. Perhaps my timing wasn’t that good, however, as a family of five just happened to pass by. Quite horrified by the sight, they instantly fled the scene and alerted the local police. Running after them, I yelled, “this is a misunderstanding!” Sadly, it only seemed to exacerbate the issue, the family picking up even more speed.

     

     That was when I realized the predicament I was in. Ultimately, I knew I couldn’t survive in prison, so I decided to do a last ditch effort to save myself. Vindicating myself in my own mind, I made a mad dash towards the woods, my coat barely concealing my beautiful form, the police chasing me.

     When law enforcement was about to catch up to me, I knew what I had to do. X’ing out the last shadow of doubt within myself, I braced myself for my final moment. “YOU CAN TRY AND TAKE ME AWAY, BUT I SHALL NOT GO QUIETLY INTO THE NIGHT,” I shouted. Zealous fervor overtook me as I shed my coat, and tackled the unsuspecting officer with all my might.